Quotes In HumorYou live and learn. At any rate, you live.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.
Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
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